Reblogged from The Velociwritetor:

I have had a personal love affair with thesauruses — yes, its an acceptable plural form of that word besides “thesauri,” which sounds weirder. It all started when my godfather gave me a scrabble set. Along with the set, he gave me a thesaurus. With the weird, dinosaur-sounding name, my curiosity got the better of me, so I took the hardbound book and read it. The cover said, “The perfect word for every occasion.” When I read the contents, it didn’t look like a real dictionary. It only contained …

I’m willing to follow along and take part in the Metaphosaurus project. How about you? I think this is actually a worthy idea for a new type of reference for writers of all types.

~1 FOR THIS PLENIPOTENTIARY-JUDGE: David-Wynn: Miller’s-KNOWLEDGE OF THESE CORRECT-SENTENCE-STRUCTURES-COMMUNICATION-PARSE-SYNTAX-GRAMMAR=(C.-S.-S.-C.-P.-S.-G.) IS WITH THE CLAIMS BY THE QUANTUM-PARSE-SYNTAX-GRAMMAR-NOW-TIME-WRITTEN-COMMUNICATION-FACTS AS THE DOCUMENT-CLOSED-CONTRACT-DUTY-FEDERAL-JUDGE-AUTHORITY: TITLE~42: D.-C.-C.-S.-~1986 WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF A FRAUD-SYNTAX-GRAMMAR-CONFESSION AND WITH AN AUTHORITY OF THE STOPPING AND: CORRECTING.

I remember looking for websites that could tell me how to get my writing better noticed and I ended up reading an article about some guy who threatened to “arrest” the mayor of his town.  Somehow I found this website, which appears to be linked to the first nut-job in some way.

Apparently there’s some kind of movement called Sovereign Citizens that somehow or other have reasoned it out that they are not subject to the laws of our country.  This fella, David Wynn Miller must be some kind of leader of these Sovereign Citizens, but it’s hard to tell because his whole website reads like the above excerpt.

I used to make up new languages with my cousins every summer when I was a kid.  We would mix around letters in the alphabet or make up new words to mean the ones we already knew.  It was fun, but we were kids.  I wonder if this is some sort of schizoid fantasy reminiscent of his home-made languages from his childhood.

U.S. Lawmaker Seeks Answers After State Department Error Releases Mexican Fugitive From Texas Jail | Fox News.

“That’s the question: What are the federal officials thinking? The State Department is screwing up by ordering locals to release these fugitives,” Gohmert, R-Texas, told FoxNews.com. ”I don’t know if it’s corruption or incompetence, but it’s one or the other and in my experience with federal government, I’m guessing it’s incompetence.”

Ummm…Hello!

via Preschooler’s Homemade Lunch Replaced With Nuggets | Fox News.

This is just plain ridiculous!

I just got the news update on my telephone saying the death toll is around 350.  This is a sad day for Honduras…

I was wondering why Ron Paul didn’t take Maine.  This might explain it…

I think anyone aspiring to have their writing published will enjoy this article.  I found it useful and full of good information.

Reblogged from dampsquid:

Dear St. Valentine May I call you St.? Are you at all related to Sesame St.? Anyway… I was planning to buy ten roses for the price of a small bungalow, but I got distracted and spent all of my money on anchovies. Will these do instead? I’ve made little cherub wings for them out of toilet paper and suspended them from a wire coat hanger. They look a bit like huge flies. Should I put glitter on them, or would that be weird? I made a card to go with the anchovies. It says: “I love you more today than …

This is arguably the funniest thing I’ve read all week! Geez! I’m following ol’ squid here…As soon as I can get the laffy-tears out of my eyes so I can see the screen again…

Shrike

Last words are forever so easy to say,

And yet they’re so hard to receive.

How could a person with so little faith

Be so instantly and easily deceived?

I try to acknowledge it every day

But there never comes any reprieve,

from knowing that I was her patsy, her rube,

for not seeing what hid up her sleeve.

Now I sit mourning, and here I will stay.

What good reason do I have to leave?

It’s my best friend that now foolishly walks in her way

and I know one day he too will grieve.

The stiletto remains in my heart ever grey,

till the day it can finally be sheathed,

when she does it to him like an instant replay

and my suffering, to him I’ll bequeath.

“You’d take her back if you could get her to stay?”

He recently said. I said “Do I look that naive?

Trust me.  You dallied, and the devil you’ll pay.

Your comeuppance you’ll surely receive

and then we’ll drink wine with a perfect bouquet

and our mutual disturbance bereave.

Meanwhile I will just wait for the day

Her unfaithfulness makes you believe. ”

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Today my wife asked me to make a Valentine card for my daughter and slip it into her backpack before she went to school.  Now, I love my daughter, but I wouldn’t have thought to do this.  My wife is my Valentine’s Day sweetheart, or so I had thought.  I looked at her strangely and asked her “Why would I do that?”

She sighed as she realized that, once again, she was going to have to explain something to me because I can be “Romantically Challenged” at times.  Actually it had little to do with my sense of romance or lack thereof.  She pointed out to me that our daughter, at ten years old, is starting to think about and talk to boys with romantic intentions in her heart.   It won’t be long before those boys are at the age where they will be more than willing to respond in kind.

“You either woo your daughter or someone else will.” she said.

Wow!  You could have knocked me over with a feather.  There I sat, still wrapped in my bed sheets, not having tasted my coffee yet this morning, and yet I was faced with my mortality and the eventual development sexually and mentally of my daughter and having to one day give her away to some young man. The only thought I could  muster at the moment was a simple “I pity the fool!”, but since I don’t even remotely resemble B.A. Barrackus, I settled for saying “Oh yeah…I guess you  have a point…”

Now my wife’s not a writer although she loves to read.  She doesn’t even do words well.  If she writes a long letter to a friend it ends up as a four-page paragraph with missing punctuation and questionable grammar.  When she tries to use memes and colloquialisms she usually mixes them up or mangles them somehow.  (She once said she had killed one bird with two stones and once she actually told me I was “putting the horse before the cart”…Yeah…)  Americans have asked her what country she was from after conversing with her for a few minutes because she says things strangely sometimes.

This morning I forgot to make that Valentine’s card until my daughter was getting ready for school.  I can make really artistic cards out of construction paper and Elmer’s glue, but it takes some time to do one.  So there I sat making a card out of a piece of lined notebook paper…  (I couldn’t find any construction paper.  We just moved and I don’t know what box it’s in.)  I looked at her across the room at my daughter and realized how beautiful she is.  I am so glad my wife told me to make this card, but I wish I had more time to put into it.  Here’s what it looks like to the left.

Sad, huh?  Well, inside I told her how much we love her and how proud of her we are and I slipped a dollar’s worth of Honduran money in there for her and told her it was extra snack money.  I know it’s not the best I could have done, but since I forgot until the last-minute it is what it is.  I think she’ll get the point.

I guess my point in talking about this today is that as a father, I hadn’t thought to do that kind of thing for my daughter, but I do think my wife was right.  It’s important to woo our daughters, or our wives, for that matter.   Because if we don’t give them the affection they need, it is all too easy to find it elsewhere.  Hmmm…I just realized where I’m going with this blog post.  Show those you love how important they are to you.  Not only today, but every day.

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